A love that runs deeper then I will ever know...

Sometimes I just wish this deployment was over so that I could SLEEP! the past 8 months or so..sleep has been a rare occurrence. I don't know why this happens. Am I worried about Jon? I don't think I am...maybe self consciously I am always worried about him because I love him, But I don't feel like an overwhelming fear. I really think this has been one of the hardest part of deployment that I am CONSTANTLY exhausted! Which for a woman anyways I'm emotional but when I don't sleep too good its multiplied by 10 ;) maybe 20 some days! Those of you who really know me, know this. I can be a wreck some days and perfectly fine others. I guess its just a cycle. Another reason sometimes I think I don't sleep is because I feel guilty for sleeping. haha! I know right? I'm sure your asking yourself...why would anyone feel guilty about sleeping...well when the love of your life is in the middle of the desert working 16 hour days everyday, making time to call you just to tell you he loves you and make sure your doing okay, and still survive off of like 4 hours of sleep everyday...getting 7/8 or more hours a night I just begin to feel guilty! How can I sleep so much when I know he is working soo hard in the middle of the desert for days on end! What I do everyday is not that pressing and even have opportunities for naps! I have considered doing his schedule just to get a better feeling for what he does...I don't think I would make it a day. Jon's normal day can range from as early as 4/5am (thankfully on days when he doesn't have to be up he can sleep till 2/3pm in the afternoon ;)these are good days!) and he does not go to bed till 2/3am..he gets food when he gets a chance(there has been many times he has called me and said he is going to midnight chow because he has not had a chance to eat today..this breaks my heart) does pt many times at midnight after work, calls if he gets time and then goes to sleep and gets up and does it all over again. I am so proud of him and not just because I know I couldn't do this..but because he does it still with that handsome smile on his face and is always ready to listen to my horrible day even after his day has been bad and so very long and all he wants to do is go to bed..but he is willing to still call and talk to me and hear about my bad class or how frustrated I am about something. He is so selfless and I could not ask for a better man to be my husband! Lord, Thank you so much for blessing me with him. I am so very thankful.